Twinkie The Kid Rides Into The Sunset

Photo Nov 17, 3 14 34 AM

As you may have already heard, Hostess Brands announced on November 16, 2012 that they are liquidating their assets and closing up shop. They will no longer be producing a long line of products including such iconic snack brands as Twinkies, Sno Balls, and Devil Dogs (under the Drake’s Cakes label).

Friday night I attempted to get my hands on just one more Twinkie.

Just one more….

Over a dozen stores and stops later, including places that I normally would not look to buy foodstuffs from, I ended up only with a couple packs of Sno Balls, a few Ding Dongs, and some much misaligned cupcakes. Prices on EBay and Amazon for a box of Twinkies has increased over one hundred fold.

I have, for all intense purposes, eaten my last Twinkie… and I didn’t even know it.

Here is the letter to the customer that appears at HostessBrands.info:

Letter to Hostess Brands Customers

Dear Loyal Customer,

I must regretfully inform you that Hostess Brands has shut down all operations and will be pursuing the sale process of all of our brands and Company assets. Many people have worked incredibly long and hard to keep this from happening, but now Hostess Brands has no other alternative than to begin the process of winding down and preparing for the sale of our iconic brands.

For many months now, the Company has been working with our unions, lenders and other stakeholders to reach a consensual resolution to legacy costs and labor contracts. Despite everyone’s considerable efforts, when we began implementing the Company’s last, best and final offer, the Bakers Union chose to stage a crippling strike. This affected our ability to continue to make products and service our customers’ needs and pushed Hostess Brands into a Wind Down scenario. As a result, the Company was forced to proceed with an orderly wind down and sale of our operations and assets. We deeply regret taking this action. But we simply cannot continue to operate without the ability to produce or deliver our products.

Hostess Brands will sell its popular cake snack brands, including Twinkies®, CupCakes®, Ding Dongs®, Ho Ho’s®, Sno Balls®, Donettes®, Drake’s® cakes and Dolly Madison®. Bread brands to be sold include Wonder®, Nature’s Pride®, Merita®, Home Pride®, Butternut®, and Millbrook®, among others.

This Wind Down announcement brings our current relationship to an end and I want to take this time to thank you for your continued support and loyalty throughout the past several years.

It has been a great pleasure working with you and I wish you all the best in the future. Attached is an information sheet to help address your concerns.

Sincerely,
Rich Seban
Executive Vice President & Chief Marketing Officer
Hostess Brands, Inc.

I think it’s important to take this letter somewhat for what it’s worth, but realize that there are always more sides to the story. While the management will lay blame on the laborers, and the laborers will lay blame on the management, it’s important that they all accept the fact that they are all to blame. This was an epic team failure which resulted in a smaller market share due to higher priced products compared to their competitors. This became obvious when every store I went into had a Hostess “shelf” or two as opposed to a floor to ceiling display like a few other brands.

You know the brands I mean… the “Little” one, the “Enten” of “Manns”, and of course those “Tasty” brands all had more prominent placement and displays than Hostess to begin with. This has sadly been a long time coming.

In a few weeks, Twinkies will be but a memory… and Twinkie the Kid will ride off as something of a lost legend…

Paying Tribute To The Greatest EMS Ringmaster Of Them All…

woodstock 99 A

On a cold afternoon in February of 1995 I found myself outside the offices of Metropolitan Ambulance in Canarsie, Brooklyn. My newly minted EMT Card was still attached to the certificate sheet, and I stood there on the parking pad waiting for the General Manager to arrive so I could interview for a job with my friend who would become my partner for my first year out.

Thirty minutes after my appointment a white truck painted in the Metropolitan Ambulance colors roared into the spot I was standing in, putting my nose to the scripted letters “Danielle” that was painted on the hood. Out of this white banged up Chevy K-5 Trailblazer stepped an imposing figure. Wearing blue jeans, a Yankee sweatshirt, and donning a salt and pepper mullet that on anyone else would be ridiculous the man sauntered up to us. In one of his massive hands was the newspapers of the day and in the other was a large styrofoam coffee cup from Dunkin’ Donuts.

“You kids waiting for me?” he asked. My friend and I looked at each other, unsure if this was really the General Manager of the largest private ambulance in New York City. “From the look on your faces yeah, you’re waiting for me. We’ll go inside, I’ll drink my coffee, you fill out the paperwork, and you start Monday at 9:00am.”

This was Artie Becker.

Artie was a very straight shooter, he always played above the board, and told you how it actually was as opposed to the way you may have preferred to hear it. Some people may have seen him as irreverent (and perhaps sometime he was) but at least he was always honest.

Artie was in charge of scheduling the ambulance crews. He did so using cutting edge technology… paper. Paper, a ruler, and white out.

A lot of white out.

And coffee. Artie had to have at least three large cups of Dunkin’ Donuts coffee regular with milk. For years, when I would do the coffee run, I brought him back two coffees and I’d have a bottle of Nestle Quick Chocolate Milk. He tried repeatedly to get me to drink coffee, and I persistently refused. It wasn’t until the summer of 2001 when I finally acquiesced and ordered my first ice coffee with Artie. Knowing I wasn’t a fan of the coffee flavor, he told the guy behind the counter to make it French Vanilla, light with cream, and four Equal to sweeten it up for me. Although I’ve swapped the Equals for the Splendas, that’s exactly how I order my coffee now 11 years later.

Artie always took the time to listen to what concerns or problems you had whether they were work related or personal. He always made time to speak to you one on one when there was an issue. For him to be able to do that, especially in a garage our size, required a lot of skill and he handled it exceptionally well.

Artie also had a thing for giving people nicknames. Perp. Squirrel. Hubcap. Dog. Once Artie bestowed a title upon you, it stuck. He himself went by a number of different nicknames such as Doc, the General, and the Ringmaster… because every circus needs one and alot of times an EMS garage can resemble a circus.

Artie wasn’t just a manager… he was a true leader, mentor, and friend.

There are a lot of stories I could tell you about Artie, but most of those would probably get me in some sort of trouble. There is one story I want to share though that will hopefully highlight why he was such an inspiration to so many…

O.C.F.

In early ’99 our company, like many other privately owned ambulance shops, was bought and merged with what would become the largest regional provider for the Mid-Atlantic. During this time our uniforms were in a state of flux and we were the contracted transport provider for Woodstock ’99.

In an attempt to provide some unification amongst those of us left standing after the merger and have some uniformity, Artie whipped out his pens and rulers and drew a very rough logo. We had a bunch of discussions about whether we should do shirts or hats with his masterpiece, and eventually settled on hats.

“You know what would be cool? What if we worked in a secret code? Like something only those of us who went would understand?” asked Artie, “Like the Freemasons!”

“Yeah, that would be cool,” we all told him, hoping he’d come back to the planning table because… well… the plans weren’t shaping up so well.

“I know, how about if we work in the letters O.C.F.?” he said with that glow in his eyes.

“Sure, but, what does it stand for?” we asked.

Operation Cluster Fuck! Because you know, that’s what this is gonna be, right? Right?” he replied, and we all laughed our heads off, fully agreeing with him that it seemed this was indeed going to go down that route.

So he did it. He put O.C.F. on the sides of all the Woodstock ’99 hats. I actually didn’t think he’d do it, so when I saw the hats and saw that he had done it, well that was just too cool… even if the hats were white.

There we were on deployment day, with the fly cars and vehicles getting lined up in our bright white Woodstock ’99 hats when the Vice-President came over. He turned to Artie and said, “The press’ll be here in an hour or two. Make sure you’re ready and be sure you have a good story about this O.C.F. thing.”

Artie looked at me in a panic and said, “Oh crap. We can’t tell the press what O.C.F. really stands for!”

“Yeah, that wouldn’t be good publicity,” I agreed while backing one of the units into their spot.

“Publicity? Who cares about the publicity? That would destroy the secret! Do you think the Freemasons told the press about their secret insignia? Of course not! We need to come up with a cover story,” he said. Then he walked away, second coffee of the day in hand, muttering “O.C.F…. O.C.F…”

Finally, after about four hours when the reporter finally arrived (because they were two hours late) they asked Artie some basic questions like how many people were going, how many vehicles, how many patients did we expect to treat, and then finally the question he had been waiting for… what does O.C.F. stand for?

Artie grinned and his eyes glowed as he leaned into the microphone and said, “One Caring Family.”

That’s what they printed.

That’s what I think he really, secretly, wanted it to mean.

Good Journey

Artie Becker at the 1993 World Trade Center Bombing

Artie Becker responded to quite a number of calls in his time working in EMS.

Avianca Flight 52, The 1993 World Trade Center Bombing, Woodstock ’99, and The 2001 World Trade Center Attacks just to name a few of the better known incidents.

Today, Artie Becker will be buried.

Death, like taxes, is inevitable… even for those of us who spend our lives fighting on behalf of others against it. Our ends are all destined to be the same, but what truly matters is how we played our part on the big stage of life. Artie didn’t just play his part… his role as Ringmaster of a band of well-intentioned misfits… he exceeded it and inspired others to exceed in their parts as well. More than a boss, more than a co-worker, more than a Ringmaster… he was first and foremost a friend.

A friend we remember and we miss.

A friend we wish a good journey to…