David Konig

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Zombies, Peeps, and Oreos Oh My!

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walking_peepIt’s that time of year again… when hats are all the rage, eggs get rolled across lawns, and the world awaits for the anniversary remembering the first second documented case of a zombie and the “conquering” of death itself.

In preparation for this occasion there has been 40 days of fasting and abstinence from an item of one’s choosing. Today the churches will be packed with those dressed in their finest outfits, sometimes bought specifically for the occasion. Prayers will be offered. Money will be cast into baskets. Chocolate bunnies all over will lose their ears and tails to the gnashing of chompers. Then tomorrow… it’s right back to being heathens as usual and binging on that which we remained abstinent from for what seemed to be so long.

Of course it’s been commercialized just like every other “holy” day. I have to be absolutely honest… I was a bit disappointed this year by the special edition stuff.

I had heard a rumor that there would be Peep flavored Oreos to go with the Peep flavored milk… but I’ve been disappointed once again by the supermarket conglomerates and the power of internet rumors. Not only were the Peep flavored Oreos a mythical creation, but I couldn’t find the Peep milk either.

Thankfully, I did have the opportunity to try the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup Oreos… and those? Magical.

The thing about Easter while working in the church that I actually appreciated was that it was also a time for renewal. Easter is what actually starts the Roman Catholic Church’s year, and since it coincided with spring and flowers and new life it seemed a good time to renew things. Renew your faith. Renew your vows. Renew your promises made so that they can be kept. If the church was a web browser, it’s when you would be hitting the refresh button. Even though I’m not really that much of a church goer/worker anymore, I like the practice and I think it’s good to take the opportunity to hit that refresh button.

It would also be a good time to find me some Peeps milk… so if you happen to know where I can get some, let me know.

Have a HAPPY EASTER and enjoy those chocolate ears…

On Belief

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The past few weeks I’ve spent some time in contemplation regarding belief. It wasn’t as much a Belief vs. Faith ponderance as I originally thought, but it was more of trying to define the true meaning of what a belief in something entails.

be-lief (biˈlēf)/ noun:

  • An acceptance that a statement is true or that something exists.
  • Something one accepts as true or real; a firmly held opinion or conviction.

To illustrate my point, I have a number of beliefs including these:

  • By nature people are good
  • Actions speak louder than words
  • Communication is the key to success
  • That Sasquatch is real

I do not necessarily have faith that my beliefs will always ring true:

  • People will not always do good
  • Words will often be the opposite of actions
  • The failure to communicate does not always result in apocalyptic failure
  • That I will get to have some quality time with my main man Sasquatch

I think it’s important to distinguish that what I may currently lack in faith, I still have beliefs of.

Just sayin’.

May Your Favors Be Ever In Chocolate

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Growing up as a Roman Catholic and spending 12 years working in a church provided me with a unique perspective on not just religion, but on those that practice it.

One group were known as the CAPE Catholics. CAPE stood for Christmas Ashes Palms Easter. You would catch most of these “opportunistic believers” during Christmas, because in their minds Christmas was the biggest holiday of the year. It’s really a big birthday party where there’s a whole lot of money being spent, so can you blame them for this poor assumption?

The actual biggest holiday in terms of liturgy for the church is the Easter season. Yes, I said season, for Easter is far more than just 24 hours of chocolate induced comas. The Easter season begins Easter Sunday (after the pre-season warm-up known as Lent) and culminates in the most important holy day for Roman Catholics 40 days later… on Ascension Thursday. It is required of all Roman Catholics that you attend a mass sometime within these 40 days, or be considered a complete and total unsalvageable heathen. Shocked? Surprised? You shouldn’t be… thus goes the religion that bends to the will of man and celebrates the birth of the first modern day zombie with rabbits that lay chocolate eggs and chicks made of marshmallow.

In any case, Happy Easter!

I’m calling dibs on the tail.

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